California

I had long forgotten about this blog. This sort of thing feels foreign to me and somewhat odd that anyone would want to air their life and life doings and ramblings on the internet for everyone to see.

Today I learned of it's beauty.

My only son left for California today. We live in Ohio.

He is twenty four, smart, handsome, wickedly humorous, and most of all the first true love of my life. He was my "starter kid". I was young when I had him and he made it so easy to be a mom and he paved a smooth path for my daughter who came along nearly ten years later. My children are who define me, I don't live my life through them but rather for them and as I sit here crying I realize that part of the tools he acquired to become the man that drove off today came from me and I know that he will be well and strong and come back the person that he wants to be.

He left for school to earn his MFA all on someone else's dime, the opportunity of a lifetime. He is leaving behind frigid winters, a cottage he dearly loved, a University that was his second home, a job where he was adored by everyone who knew him, a sister who is lying on her bed at this moment reading Harry Potter (much to his angst) because she doesn't want us to see her cry, and devoted parents and step parents who simply stand in awe of the man he is.

I forgot to give him more money, I forgot to give him his recipe book full of home, I forgot to tell him one last time that he can come home at any point in time but I can fix these things. I am just not sure how to mend my heart.

He can follow us here, even in the world of text and cell phones sometimes nothing soothes like the written word...something concrete and tangible. He is a writer, a very good one and I know that I will never compare but I don't think I have to.

I love you more than words and my pride is limitless my dear sweet son.